writing tips

taking out the trash
by Sylvia Rochester

Company’s coming! Run the vacuum. Pass the mop. Polish the furniture.

Editing a manuscript is a lot like cleaning house--remove the clutter, rearrange if necessary, and tweak until it shines. I can’t guarantee an error free manuscript, but I can suggest ways to enhance your work. All you’ll need is your computer and a dose of determination.

Before we begin, let me say the suggestions I make today are a compilation of speeches, articles, and discussions I’ve experienced on this subject over the past several years. In an hour, I can only touch on the highlights. I recommend you Google for “How to edit a manuscript” and arm yourself with all the information you can find. If you’re editing on the computer, zoom to l50% or 200%. Don’t give the errors a chance to hide. When you finish editing on the computer, print a hard copy. Read aloud and at a snail’s pace. Okay, let’s get started.

Forget the mop and vacuum. The greatest tool in the world comes to you courtesy of “Edit” and “Find.” In order to edit your manuscript, you first have to find what needs changing. What’d you say? Your manuscript is pretty clean? Let me know if you feel the same when we finish taking out the trash.
Not everyone is computer savvy and familiar with Edit and Find. For those who are not, Edit is located on your top toolbar. When you click on Edit, a drop-down menu appears. Next, select Find. A dialog box opens. Type in the word you want to find, hit enter, and the computer will locate the first time that particular word occurs. You have the option to replace the word with another choice, either once or everywhere it occurs. If you chose to replace the word only once, you can continue to search for that particular word throughout the manuscript, assuming you have formatted your manuscript into one continuous file.

So, where do you start? How about with my last sentence? Is So really necessary? It’s easy to let useless words clutter your manuscript. Here are a few.

More often than not, the sentence will read better if these words are removed.

Even after several months of dating, she had managed to keep him at a distance.

Not just because of the money, but because I’m familiar with your magazine’s circulation.

Why can’t I convince you of that?

Some words are redundant

back - He turned back… He turned…
She eased back into her chair, letting out a sigh that hissed exasperation.

up (when the direction is obvious) - He jumped up onto the porch. Better: He jumped onto the porch.

down (when the direction is obvious) - He looked down at this feet. Better: He looked at his feet.  …no grass trampled down. Better: no trampled grass.

Redundancy in punctuation - Don’t follow an exclamation mark with an explanation.

“Help!” she screamed. Omit she screamed. The exclamation mark indicates the word was said with ferocity.

I won’t go into grammatical mistakes except to touch on the misuse of the comma. I find the rules change at the discretion of the editors. My advice? Give them the correct punctuation. Let them decided to accept it or not.

If a sentence has two independent clauses (i.e. each clause has a subject and verb) and is separated by a conjunction, put a comma before the conjunction. Example: Mary hit Sam, and Sam cried all the way home.

If a sentence has one independent clause and one dependant clause (no subject), do not use a comma. Example: Mary hit Sam and ran away all the way home.

Indefinite words should be defined.

Name the object. Who are they? Quantify some, many and few.

If you mention an animal, don’t refer to the creature as a cat, dog, horse, etc. Give the specific breed, sex, color, etc.

If you mention a car, give the make, model, color, etc.

If you mention time, define the duration--ten minutes or whatever.

What about your adjectives? Are the bland? Why? Choose adjectives that will and play on the senses and add sparkle to the text.

Cold – How cold? Icy, bone-chilling, numbing, frosty, artic.

Hot – How hot? Blistering, broiling, sizzling, scalding.

Rough – You give me some examples.

Odor or fragrance – Again, give me some examples.

Sometimes the use of a metaphor will give the reader an even better sense of description. (Like a belch from hell, the sun’s rays scorched the garden’s tender sprouts.)

You want to show not tell your reader what a character is experiencing. You can do that by giving the reader a vibrant description about a particular instance. Substitute robust, concrete adjectives, throw in a few metaphors, and the reader becomes an active participant in that particular scene--feeling, seeing, tasting, smelling what the character is experiencing.

Don’t worry if what you’re trying to show happened in the past. Indicate a scene break. Present the scene you wish to recall as though it’s happening now. When you finish, return the reader to the present by indicating another scene break. The reader will follow with no problem. You will not only show not tell, you’ll kept the text active.

What about your choice of verbs? Do you tend to use the same words over and over? BORING! If I may use a cliché, variety is the spice of life. Check for those words that occur frequently throughout the manuscript and substitute another similar word.

Walked – try strode, ambled, sauntered, strolled, shuffled, staggered, etc.

Ran – try jogged, scurried, scampered, hurried, dashed, rushed, loped, etc.

Cry – whimpered, sobbed, sniveled, bawled, wailed, blubbered, howled, etc.

Did I hear someone say adverb? I look at adverbs this way—too many rocks sink a boat. I prefer to throw my rock overboard in lieu of better cargo.

Tightening the manuscript further - check for words such as felt, knew, figured, and heard. Omit these words by explaining how the character felt and what he heard or saw. You don’t need to indicate a character looked at someone before speaking. That’s assumed. However, if the character looked away, this might indicate the character’s receptiveness.

Search for these words: began, started, knew, realized seemed, appeared. You don’t need these words to introduce an action.

She knew John lied. Better to say: John lied. POV tells us she knew.

She started to cross the room. Better to say: She crossed the room

She knew he hated her. Better to say: He hated her.

Are you using the correct word? Spell check only checks for spelling, not usage. Here are a few examples. When in doubt, check the dictionary.

Then vs. Than – Then refers to time. Than means rather.

Affect vs. Effect – Affect is a verb. Effect is a noun.

Its vs. It’s – Its refers to an entity. It’s is the contraction of it and is.

Stationary vs. stationery – Stationary means immobile. Stationery is writing material.

Diner vs. dinner – Diner is a restaurant or a person who eats. Dinner is a meal.

Further vs. farther – Further means to a greater extent. Farther means actual distance.

Altar vs. alter – Altar refers to a raised structure in a church. Alter means to change.

Passive voice - eliminate it whenever possible. Do a search for any form of the verb to be. If the subject is acted upon, the sentence is passive. One way to remedy the situation is to let the object do the action. Remember, the use of was or were does not always make a sentence passive.
Examples: Joe was hit by the ball. (Passive-the subject received the action.)  The ball hit Joe. (Active-the subject did the action.) Joe was hitting the ball. (Active-the subject (Joe) did the action…was hitting is the verb.)

Aside from the things mentioned above, what else should you look for when editing your manuscript?
White space – make sure you don’t have lengthy segments of narrative. Dialog helps to keep up the pacing. Perhaps you give more description than is needed.

Do your chapters end with a hook? What about the opening line(s). Did you have a smooth transition?

Did the scene(s) move the story forward?

Don’t divulge everything about a character, only what is necessary.

Is the dialog natural?

Too many tags? Not enough? Search for said. See if you can eliminate the tag.

Vary your sentence structure.

Are you’re consistent with the characters’ physical descriptions. Blue eyes can’t turn brown in a later scene.

Do the stakes increase as the story progresses?

Make sure your twists and surprises are plausible. You have to have a reason to drop a dead body from the ceiling, and the character better be someone pertinent to the story.

Tweaking your work using the suggestions above will produce a tighter and more polished manuscript. Are there more things to consider? You bet. I’ve only touched on a few. Will you catch all the errors? No. Can anyone? No. Do your best. Watch for what isn’t there--those often-omitted articles and prepositions. Let your critique partners or friends proof your material. You can’t have enough eyes. What you overlook, they might catch. It’s amazing how several people can read the same chapter and each one find errors the others missed.

Good luck and happy writing. Remember, cleaning up your manuscript is just a matter of taking out the trash.

Sylvia Rochester writes romantic suspense and paranormal romance. She is the author of THE SWEET SMELL OF DEATH, WHEN EVIL LOVES, and SHADOW OF THE SOUL, all by Wings e-Press. She also authored, COME BACK, MY LOVE, which was released by Whiskey Creek Press in February 2008.